Love Means Never Having to Say You Are Sorry

Its ok. I know you feel that way, but I understand.

One of the long running fights I had with my mother was whether she had (when she done all she could all of her life for me at any cost to herself) had betrayed me.

She was told I was delusional about the file and story of NIH.ASP that I was being watched, stalked in all I did, phone lines were tapped (she did believe that one) and all sorts of other activities.

In most of it all she though (and was told) it was the affect on drugs or bipolar disorder causing me to be wrong about those things.

I did not know what a GangStalk was, their tactics of outlandish conduct including crawling all over, through, under your home, planting evidence and gas-lighting, using guns pointed into your home looking like any second now a swat team is coming in, your food is being poisoned, etc.,

Yet now more stories are emerging these are true. How could she believe when even I could not and would come down from meth sometimes and think I must have imaged some of that but I saw these stalkers at most otehr times too, so it could not be the meth. In fact at Austin Travis County Integral Care that is one of the things I told them (as I had for 25 year said before) I wanted meth out of the equation so I have less variables in play and even that was promise I had made to my mother not using drugs. Almost once I had almost relapsed to pot, that was my my anger at being in a different world than I had lived in before.

When I was arrested over the file NIH.ASP and the allegations I tied to it (numerous ones) I had told Dr. Ryan (Forensic psychiatrist New York MCC) that early in my meth usage I had spotty periods of paranoia, towards later dates they were longer or strung together. While I believed other factors in my disupte with the FBI DOJ were at play, this had been a factor in my usage history and why some period of time before I had quit methampetimes and came to use Wellbutrin (Bupropamin) for ADHD as my family preferred as well, though I found dexamphetamine (the real part of Aderall) in now way troubling by affect on me that Ritalin or methamphetamine was.

All the while though GangStalking as I now understand it does exist and this time 24X7. Veronica Hoffman was said to be Biplor only at times asserting she was being Stalked. I have asserted when they needed a fallacy of me to be true they used her (as a prop) to make it seem true, like Lyndon Laroucheres next to her thus next to me, I have not had contact with them since I was going to be a delegate for them in Sr. year of highschool.

I have made mistakes before with her and her with me. I am probably worst in the error column but when you love each other you aren’t keeping track (except for who didn’t do the dishes.

All is forgiven on both sides. This was part of Love Story and I have to find and modify that to a shorter version of the theme song than the longer version I used because I liked the graphic.

Hey Mom I Am A Targeted Individual

Hey Mom, I’m a Targeted Individual: For the Families and Friends of Targeted Individuals – Cathy Meadows on Kindle

Hey Mom, I’m A Targeted Individual by
Cathy Meadows M. A, Clinical Psychology
Consultant, Advocate, Witness
Targets of Bullying, Workplace Mobbing
And Covert Harassment and Surveillance

The strength that the targets possess lies in their
diversity. They are both male and female, and they
herald from all races, lifestyles, political persuasions,
backgrounds, and genders. They are conservatives
and liberals, rednecks and hippies, good ole boys, and
southern belles, patriarchists and feminists, white
collar and blue collar. They cover every job description,
educational level, and are from every corner of the
country.. They stand together and they are not divided
by superficialities. This is their strength. They are
simply Americans.

To the Families of Targeted Individuals
Often, people are targeted because they did something
right. Targeting can happen to anyone who sounds
an alarm about something that is ethically or morally
wrong, or illegal.

Many people are targeted for other
reasons but it’s for sure that most targeting has
something to do with someone else’s fear about being
exposed for some kind of wrong-doing.

Covert harassment and surveillance is a horrific crime
and all targets need someone to talk to about their
feelings of alienation, confusion, and shock with
regards to what’s happening to them. Be that person who listens without making judgement calls. It’s the
single most important thing that you can do.
Dedicated to All Targets Everywhere.

Never Give Up!

About Me

Hi, My name is Cathy Meadows and I’ve been working
with victims of Covert Harassment and Surveillance
for over IO years. I first became aware of targeted
retaliation when I myself became targeted after calling
out wrongdoing in my community. For years I sought
out others like me, and I researched this phenomenon
as best I could. There wasn’t a lot of information about
it back in the 1990’s and early 2000’s but I knew
there had to be others who were suffering, like myself.

This program was too well organized, prolific, and all-
encompassing to have been constructed just for me.
Finally, around 2005 1 began to find a few websites
and posts written by people who were experiencing
the same kinds of civil and human rights abuses
that I was which gave me the courage to speak
openly about targeting on different internet venues.
Soon I became a member of the original, Freedom
From Covert Harassment and Surveillance, over which
Derrick Robinson presided (he now presides over
PACTS International). Not long after that I became
familiar with the works of Dr. John Hall [and others …]

As Ed Donegan asserts Stalkers try to draw missteps from the stalked OR assert a correct act from a stalk victim was paranoid and thus the stalk victim should be institutionalized.

Logging Stalker is what I have done aver 40 years of being put in psych wards and spending 7 to 10 thousand phone calls to my family I was being stalked.

Hey Mom I Am A Targeted Individual, a behavioral counselor explains how people get wrongly institutionalized while fighting against the Stalk team using assets of FBI, CIA, and others.,

As stated normal mind attempts to bring closure to anything it
doesn’t understand (menacing surroundings) and even if a target isn’t “crazy”
this kind of confusion about the who’s, why’s, how’s
and what’s of the attacks can get victims wrongly diagnosed, institutionalized, and medicated.

The following is your first piece of evidence that group
stalking and harassment is for real. Get your computer
or smart phone because this is worth it. I’m curious
to know what you think. The video is by Norma

Defamation of Character

[Creating a “Legend”that some person is threat and doesn’t belong there, creating a basis for retaliation on the record against a person framed off of the record, the Abuse of Process system that is Obstruction of Justice and Conspiracy Against Rights.]

[Creating By Undercover Operatives Deceived Emotional Lynch Mobs]

Slander can rally many people in the community,
particularly financially marginalized people, young
people, emotionally damaged persons, and angry
middle-aged men (David Lawson, Cause Stalking:
Terrorist Stalking in America) against targets. Slander
is free, easy, and effective and it’s the foremost tool
used by the perpetrators because it fuels hatred for
the target.

It’s virtually impossible to carry off the
targeting without it. Slander can get an entire
community mobilized against an individual, and
induce the community to commit felonies against
that person, for fun and relaxation.

Kind of like what throwing Christians to the lions did for citizens in
Ancient Rome. Further, it can cause psychological
confusion in the target who’ll worry about what’s
being said about him or her that’s so horrific that
their neighbors, co-workers, and other associates have
turned against them.

As an added bonus, this tactic
often lowers the self esteem of targets, and damages
their egos. This, along with sleep deprivation, 24/7
harassment, worry, and confusion could lead to an
agonizing descent into mental illness (or at least the
perpetrators of the crime hope so).

Quite Often, fake police documents are distributed
around the locality of the target that falsely describe
the target as some kind of a community danger.

From what the targets themselves report, it appears
that the false documentation against them usually
has to do with sex crimes, theft, violence, and
associations with terrorism.

Those who introduce the
illegal and slanderous “official” documentation into
the community usually show fake police badges, or
something similar, to prove their point. However, law
enforcement doesn’t knock on doors. They simply put
the stats on the internet and in 99 percent of the
cases I’ve worked on, all accusations are criminally

The good new is that sometimes these kinds
of attacks work against the stalkers because spreading
disgusting slander, and falsified documents goes
towards proving that the target is not imagining that
people are out to get him or her. It’s proof that someone
is, and it’s illegal as hell. Prison awaits those who find
themselves in the cross-hairs of some of the more
retaliatory targets who have resources.

Homeless and indigent people are often used to harass
targets and all it takes is $5.00, a threat, a sandwich, a
cheap bottle of booze, or a very small amount of their
favorite drug to draw them in. In fact, because they
have nothing, almost anything you give to indigent
people could seduce them into committing a felony.

You may not suspect that someone who is driving a
car and is dressed well is poor but think again. Many of
the vehicles that the stalkers use are lent to them. Also,
they may be given free haircuts, clothes from a 2nd
hand store, or other goodies that the overseers got for
free on Craigslist.

Sometimes people who have their
own places and cars have over-extended themselves
financially and will work for as little as $20.00 a day,
to follow a target around, menacingly. Plus, figure in
those stalkers who have been deluded into thinking
that they’re some kind of James Bond who are
saving their communities by harassing a “dangerousperson who has done bad things” and the criminal
perpetrators have themselves a free army [of “Noble Savages”, punks and prison snitches, trustees, etc. helping the police now.]

The pay scale, if there is one, is very low and
people who work at fast food restaurants make more.
However, the stalking schedule is often flexible and
many guys do it just to impress the females, and
vice versa.

Sometimes, sex is involved. Seduction is
used as much as possible to get people to commit
these types of felonies. Most of the time, the
top stalkers just have to flirt with the recruits and
offer the promise of something that’s probably never
going to happen. [Frequently they are Targted themselves like Veronica Hoffman, Bobby Courtney, and Jimmy of Corpus Christi.]

Illegal Entry

What occurs in 99 percent of all cases is illegal entry,
and gaslighting. Illegal entry is done either the good
old fashioned way, with credit cards, lockpicks, etc.,

Why don’t the targets report the illegal entry to the
police? Sometimes they do but in the majority of
cases there’s no extreme evidence that anyone other
then the tenant (or someone posing as the landlord) was in the home.

These criminals don’t break and enter; they illegally enter. Further, the
stalkers usually don’t break or steal any of the target’s
possessions, but when they do it’s minor or can be
explained away as normal breakage. The more targets
call the cops, the crazier they look, and some cops have
been know to call a 51-50 (involuntary psychiatric
hold) out on a target out of fear for the target’s safety.

[If they do break in they pose as rescuers to children being held or other emergenices that do not exist.]


[Black bag jobs planting items, removing them, or altering them in the absence of the home owner or leasor of the property]

The term “gaslighting” is taken from a 1944 movie
thriller starring Ingrid Bergman (wife) and Charles
Boyer (husband). In the movie, the husband tries
to drive his wife into madness by assuring her that
there’s no gas with which to light up the lanterns in
their home. Yet, every night while she lies in bed the
lanterns light up. She continuously tells her husband
what’s happening and he continuously tells her that
she’s imagining it, thereby making her question her
own sanity.

When stalkers illegally enter the home or vehicle of
their target they let them know that they’ve been
there, but in a subtle way. They leave one little
thing out of place, for example. They may do small
but noticeable vandalism, move things around, or take
things and bring them back at a later date. This is not
really confusing for most targets, who know exactly
what’s happening, but it can be infuriating that their
right to privacy is being trampled on.

Cathy Meadows is a Revealor and has written my Autobiography of What I have lived through (and may mother and father and brother did not)

Most agree Stalkers try to create un-peaceful conditions that a normal person will react to and appear abnormal when he or she does. The public does not believe the outcry, that a victims is being stalked and poisoned. Once in a pscyh ward the victim is either on ice, discredited, neutralized, and without a typewriter, or killed by the institutional staff and their snitch network. I could provide 7K examples of this system if my mind were able to remember all. I call stalking “Herding.”

A person will react to this, and the reaction that is a correct adaptation to the threat will be treated a a adaptation to a non-threat thus a delusional or psychotic allegation is made when a person targeted by harassment faces a civil commitment hearing about “The mental health component” a person confronted by police has exhibited.

As Meadows points out once facing strange circumstances the rational mind will both report it and try to find its origins. The Stalk is denied and the explanation is denied. What is left is an ordinary person asserting facts not believed about being stalked.

The stalked person is a Conspiracy Theorist trying to unravel conspiracies. Mine theory of the stalk and why leads to JKF Conspiracy Theories.

Hey Mom, I’m a Targeted Individual: For the Families and Friends of Targeted Individuals retrieved from and copied or modified to here

She is correct about Stalkers

What Targets Say That’ll Blow Your Mind (And It’s All True)

[Ed Donegan will swear on this as true and has experienced every item on the list

The Reactions I have had to Stalkers in the 1990’s and on

I have walked outside my home lat-night with knives calling out whoever was just outside my windows, inches from it, or repeatedly bumping doors facing the outside, wall facing the outside often audibly tracing long the wall nosily at night as if dragging a nail against the wall taking a minute or two to cross the wall.

I have threatened stalkers and they are trained to laugh it off as though you are a joke. At Starbucks I was evicted from 3rd street when noxious treatment of me was conducted by both adutls and children in the same “swindle” that system that stages events not related to me or characteristics of me (the Legend built though IS believed) and then trolling that characteristic in me (that does not exist) so will like look I have agreed to things I have not agreed to.

The breach of the peace is done by them, they won’t admit to it. I have thought about how sexuall and other harasser hid their acts (I was talking to someone else or about something else) and thus get away with a harassing statement, again, some dupes think they are getting even for something though the are misled and being used.

I am paraphrasing this someone from combined multiple events of this but one of the con jobs is using monetizble inheritance from my family to go to dominatrixes with. The Stalker will say to me “Since we are in this fifty fifty together this one belongs to me” or a statement I am in such poor health only a healthy person I have designated should go in for “the rough stuff.”

On the adult entertainer side these money launders tell the entertainers the punishment for my being a teen freak or any other allegation is they should cozy up with law enforcement and let them sign my assets over to victims funds, not me.

All this depends on toxic images of me that are calculated and untrue and most should know better and do, but as many point out these illegal trafficking the CIA does in guns, drugs, cocaine, and now genome is normal for them.

In the time I was using USB and trying to write my book at Faulk library Jen Moore and Tom Donegan have died. I am trying to show them that these system of making me SEEM an UNDESIRABLE are retaliation for my documenting these corrupt officials.

Attempts on My Life and Attempts On My Rights

“But for the intervening event ” does another flow? I have spent my life trying in mental wards to prove what I could not prove, a Stalk. Discredited as delusional and instituonalized us just where the CIA wants victims of MKIULTRA like myself.

Carl Clark, former CIA/M15 operative, was
involved in massively illegal operations such as
performing organized stalking on victims and
deploying electromagnetic weapons to
anonymously inflict pain and terror. He has
stated, “the undoubted goal is to have select
people end up in psychiatric institutions. If a
target seeks help by going to the police or to the
doctor, they don’t get taken seriously.”

More from Cathy Parks who in her books links to the videos (at least one and I have seen many more) her clients provide of Stalkers and the actions of Stalkers

Keep Fighting for Your Freedom-
Never Give Up

This is far too horrendous a crime to pretend
it doesn’t exist but the integrity of this battle
depends on your presentation of the facts,
and to whom you’re presenting them.

I have a client who made flyers about simple gang-
stalking and mobbing and sent them out to
numerous people in positions of authority
including the Police Chief, and the Mayor of
his hometown.

Within a few days a cop and
another guy from the city showed up at his
front door and wanted to give him a mental
evaluation right then. He refused and so they
took him to a jail cell that had no running
water or sanitary toilets and the next morning
had a Medical Doctor (not even a psychologist)
diagnose him with a paranoid disorder after
talking to him for only 5 minutes.

This is a cautionary, true tale to warn you about
what can happen if you go public about the
harassment and abuse you’re suffering under.
Unfortunately, it seems like any complaint you
make about the harassment can be perceived as
paranoid according to the limited perceptions,
experience and knowledge of most people who
are educated in psychology.

Under the circumstances of being targeted, I
would consider all of these aforementioned
behaviors to be normal.

The environment of
the target is abnormal and the target reacts
accordingly. However, the targeting program
does drive people to display verbal and physical
behaviors that can give a false positive if tested
for paranoia.

Illegal Surveillance

One of the biggest civil rights complaints
that targets make centers around surveillance,
and the bugging of their phones, cars, digital
and electrical equipment, and homes. This is
a truism and the victim is not imagining it.

It’s easy to do and one of the 12-year-olds
down the street probably knows how. There are
hacking classes in any university tech program,
regardless of the name of the class, and many
people use extremely rudimentary methods as
well. I remember one Saturday when my
daughter was in high school and we were both
up and actively getting ready for the day.

I casually walked over to an open, patio window
when all of a sudden two teenage girls jumped
up from directly underneath my open patio
window and ran away screaming and laughing.
I’ve also found stalkers in the crawl spaces
under my home on more than one occasionand they weren’t homeless.

They lived right next door and I knew them. Therefore, don’t
rule out simple eavesdropping as a surveillance
method. [This comports with what Ed Donegan asserts of Thea Smith, my cable dropped, they were openly rigging a cable loop of some type into a small table at Thea Smith apartment across the hall with door wide open, and an old pc being setup on the table a new cable loop was going into. A cable installer with a large spool of cable was in the area.]

No locks can keep the stalkers out.

I had a client who had locks
installed by a very good company, and which
required 17-digit codes to get into the home.

It took 2 months but the stalkers got in.

heard of cases where the doors and windows
were locked so tight that the stalkers came in
through vents, or fireplaces.

I’ve worked with people whose stalkers had connections with
the county and so were able to convince some
county personnel to allow a caterpillar digger
to dig a tunnel from across the street and
straight under the target’s home. Seem bizarre?

That’s what they’re counting on. The more
bizarre and the more unbelievable, the better.
Many perps actually enjoy the ridiculousness
of it all, and get off on the look of shock and
disbelief in the eyes of their target. Further,
many enjoy watching their target attempt to
convince people of what’s happening.

Let’s just
say that the perpetrators of the crime often
enjoy their work. As previously stated, they
count on the inconceivability of their crime.
“Who’s going to believe their targets”?

Why don’t the targets report the illegal entry
to the police? Sometimes they do but in the
majority of cases there’s no extreme evidence
that anyone other then the tenant was in
the home.

These criminals don’t break and
enter; they illegally enter. Further, the stalkers
usually don’t break or steal any of the target’s
possessions, but when they do it’s minor or
can be explained away as normal breakage. The
more targets call the cops, the crazier they look,
and some cops have been know to call a 51-50
(involuntary psychiatric hold) out on a target
out of fear for the target’s safety.

Gangstalkers and the perpetrators of covert
harassment and surveillance are terrorists
to the nines and that’s their job.

exist to terrorize people. They are truly the
representatives of the definition of domestic
terrorism. However, they are not assassins, per

Many targets think that the stalkers want to
assassinate them but they will not. Even if they
want to it’s not part of the program. They want
to terrorize and sicken you, perhaps. They
want to drive you to the physician’s office, the
psychiatrist’s office, and to the dental offce but
that’s for monetary gain more then anything
in the bigger picture.

That’s the reason for
everything that they do.

If you can blow them
off psychologically, and use self care, you’d be
on the right track.

I spoke to a client recently
who told me that he just gave up and thought
that if they want to come after him they can
have at it. He went to bed with all his doors
unlocked and open and felt that if they killed
him it would be a blessing. Well, they didn’t.

[This story matches what I have made at least 400 phone calls or reports by other means over. Constant SWAT like teams of uniformd an uniformed plantign the idea they are about to burst the door down and that they are armed, pointing weapons in but just not actually going in. When I walk out to confrotn them they dissaper on follow me without beign willking to talk to me. Several Times I have remained still for hours as sniper pointed a gun at me as if challeningme to move.

He’s alive but the terrorism has gotten to him
a little. He’s unable to work because of the
harassment. They didn’t kill him though and
they never will. It’s not part of the program.

Remember that even with all the scare tactics,
confusing antics, vandalism, street theater,
etc., they won’t kill you outright. They can
cause damage through exposure to biological
and chemical infectants, and through remote
weapons but I’m not quite sure if they’re
wearing down the targets or building up their
immune systems.

Take your vitamins and anti-
inflammatories every day and in the end we’ll
see what the effects are. I already spoke of
the physical and psychological effects of doing
good, and doing evil and these are variables
that the perpetrators of this brand of domestic
terrorism haven’t taken into account.

What is Love?

Seasons may change
Winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

As I will love my family or origin including my brother, and a world we thought existed when we thought we were the Partridge Family.

Whatever disconnect their is, we were wrong then or the world is wrong now, things are not the same but I will love the other 3 until my dying day, and Jen Moore, Ted Gunderon, John Decamp, and others too.


26 Friday Jun 2015

“Drawing attention to small or even false virtues is a hallmark of authoritarian regimes.

“For good reason
– the history of European anti-fascist resistance showed the strategic importance of controlling the bar scene. Before scoffing at German and Italian resistance movements, consider that the entire country of France didn’t last two months.

“Fascism does not come exclusively from the right, look at the People’s Republic of China and their free-market corporate State. Here government is flush with illegally siphoned cash from the same
corporations that reinvest just 2% of their profits back into their business and people (down from 70% in the early 80s). Scott
Peterson is used to caricature men, even while married women remain the least likely to be murdered group in society.

Tom Dunahm
via Where to Resist – SelectQuote Review.

It appears to me (Ed Donegan) false heroes are protecting minors from a threat that is invented, not real, and the protectors seek glorious admiration from members of society.

It appears to me (Ed Donegan) false heroes are protecting minors from a threat that is invented, not real, and the protectors seek glorious admiration from members of society.

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